Does life just happen to you, or do you have some measure of control over it? On a day-to-day basis, most of us take responsibility for practical stuff – like paying the bills, looking after family and friends and getting our work done – but these are the basics. At another level, are we prepared to take responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings and our consequent actions?
Behavioural psychologists recognise that there are two points of view when it comes to our perception of how our lives pan out. Those who believe that there is an external locus of control – that things happen to us because of outside factors such luck, fate or religious destiny – “passengers”. Those who prefer to think that there is an internal locus of control and that what happens to us is largely in our own hands – “drivers”. In reality, of course, the locus of control is a continuum and, to some extent, we can choose our position along it.
But choosing to take the driver’s seat pays off in many ways. Drivers
- create their own lives
- influence others positively
- achieve more
- have better relationships
- are more independent
- have more confidence
- are happier and healthier.
“You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.” - Oprah Winfrey
“It is only when you take responsibility for your life that you discover how powerful you truly are” - Allanah Hunt
So, I suggest we look at ways of taking full responsibility which means getting rid of things such as:
- Complaining
- Blaming
- Making excuses
- Self-pity
And do more of:
- Self-care
- Accepting negative emotions as part of life
- Doing what you say you will do
- Focusing on taking actions
- Hanging out with supportive people
- Prepare for anything!
It sounds simple but it is an ongoing process and one which many people think they want but don’t do anything about.
“Most people do not really want freedom. Because freedom means responsibility and most people are frightened of responsibility” Sigmund Freud
Are you too frightened to take full responsibility – I admit I am at times - or are you the one that is going to claim responsibility – “I’ve got this”, can go a long way.